January 30, 2004

Hi everyone,

It’s been an interesting week. Last Sunday, my landlady asked me if I’d like to walk. I replied “yes” and ended up going on a 15 km hike up and down, ‘round and ‘round, the Belgian countryside, knee-deep in mud. The most extraordinary part is that I enjoyed (parts of) it! Fact is, the Belgian countryside is quite beautiful and strolling (slipping, falling, and squelching) through farmers’ fields had a certain bucolic feel that I hadn’t experienced the farm. Of course the whole exercise was made worthwhile because it was punctuated by a German feast of many different sausages, kale, and potatoes fried in goose fat. This was an event, hosted by my landlady, where the one who ate the most was awarded the “pig of the day award” (sadly not me, but everyone agreed I was second) and beer, schnapps, and scotch flowed freely. A rather pleasant event I must say!


Monday was an all day “seminar” for DG Research, the part of the Commission for which I am working. 1500 staff packed into a downtown ballroom to listen to words of wisdom from the Director-General on new HR policy and very vague plans for Research in the next few years. He is a fairly humourless type and much too defensive to field the very few questions from the floor. The whole day was pretty much a waste of time. My only hope had been meeting people, but that too proved unsuccessful - it was just not a forum conducive to much of anything.

Then I spent the remaining mornings of the week engaged in “induction classes.” Although I half expected to be induced into labour, or inducted into a Hall of Fame, indeed induction in this context is merely orientation. The sessions varied greatly in effectiveness of content and delivery but I do feel a bit more informed about what the hell is going on! Many of the sessions were in French and one of the presenters (the fellow who explained building security) reminded me of the character who gets made fun of in French farces - generally hapless looking, Mr. Beanish, with a rather peculiar way of adjusting his hips which caused me to have to look away to avoid bursting into laughter. The message I have taken away from induction is that the Commission is obsessed with process and internal controls. They have 24 different categories of internal control mechanisms most of which require checklists for every activity. They are taking rather seriously the task of improving their reputation in the wake of recent fraud scandals. But at what cost to efficiency, you have to wonder?

I have now also enrolled in French classes which was an experience. Had I known the French for ‘effing ordeal’ I have would used it. Anyway, classes start Monday and there will soon be no excuse for me looking blank in meetings.

Last night I witnessed four guys fleeing a robbery of a convenience store and the shopkeeper in hot pursuit despite a gaping head would - all VERY exciting. Then to round out the week, I attended an amateur chamber music concert with my landlady. It was amazing to go to a public concert for amateurs where the audience was NOT primarily family and friends. There were about 60-70 people of all ages there to listen to very good, but also clearly amateur musicians play the Schubert Octet. We really need to do something to get North Americans more interested in classical music.

Now for some observations. A little everyone I hope! Hope all’s well in your various lives. I look forward to hearing from you when you have a chance.

Bye for now,

Celia

1. Follow up to comments about Sunday shopping - a number of you accused me of being a hopeless capitalist, wanting to shop seven days/week. Not true - actually I’m the first one to want a day off from the stores, but surely this is not meant to also apply to FOOD shopping. How on earth am I to know what I want to eat tomorrow? I’m happy to report I have found a really good grocery store downtown which is open Sundays as well, so do not fear, I will not go hungry.

2. Street food - Friteries (the equivalent of a Canadian chip wagon) abound as do waffle stands. It’s no joke - the Belgians do indeed eat on the street in the same way North Americans consume coffee whilst strolling about. Other happy food quirks - everything comes with a cream sauce; all coffees are accompanied by chocolate; everyone is armed with a baguette on the street.

3. The European Commission has a team in charge of acronyms. Also no joke. This exists. In an attempt to be funny, I asked if this was called the A-Team. No-one laughed. Presumably some of the worst American network TV from the 80s has never come here (unlike the music - see previous email)

4. Do you “make a decision” or “take a decision”? This is a question I have been pondering for awhile but it’s become a bit of an issue for me since at the EC they take decisions while I have always made decisions. I cannot seem to find a definitive answer to this - I think it may come from the French “prendre”. Anyone got any thoughts?

5. I knew the deficiency in the English language of having no singular genderless pronoun was a problem but now I am also confident in saying that the use of “they/their/them” in the singular, in place of a gendered versions in an effort to be politically correct has problematic side-effects. I have been asked a couple of times by non-native speakers of English to decipher the writings of the chronically PC because they cannot figure out why there are plural pronouns where there should be singular. Time for an alternative!

6. More on English usage: if one can be upbeat, why not downbeat? A recent headline in the EU Observer (the on-line news magazine) was “EU Downbeat on its goal to catch the US”. I immediately thought of orchestra.

7. European Commission style guide - for those who appreciate detailed guidance on how to write, check out the style guide I happened upon the other day at: http:// publications.eu.int./code. It’s truly a thing of beauty- I felt all warm and happy and was particularly pleased to see they have stamped out VIZ in their official publications. (the former “quirky/clerky” types in my circle will appreciate this)

8. For a French speaking Belgian, the chances of preventing pregnancy or STD via a condom are higher than for a Flemish speaking Belgian: I make this assertion based on the translation. In French, preservatifs are sold; in Flemish you buy condooms. Do you think the Pope has more control over Flemish nomenclature? (and I know this because condoms are sold from machines on street corners and not just in the less savoury parts of town)

9. PRIMARILY FOR FORMER ICLEI COLLEAGUES: It was once explained to me why the European 2-ring binder is superior to the N. American 3-ring version. At the time, I pooh- poohed the whole matter. I have now concluded that there be some merit to this. The mechanism for closing these is better and the further feature of locking the pages in place cannot be beaten. However, you won’t convince me the A4 sized paper is aesthetically pleasing. Give me the fully balanced Letter size.

10. European Union excesses -

a. Judges at the European Court of Justice earn approximately $350K Cdn per annum. My

new career ambition.

b. I went for a coffee at the new European Parliament building this week. No expense was

spared for this place - access to which is all but closed to the public! As the proud wearer of an EC identity badge however I can roam the building at will. Great for me but might contribute to the apathy and cynicism Europeans feel about Brussels.

c. My coveted identity badge also admits me to EuroCity, a grocery store stocked with products from around Europe so that employees of the Commission will not have to miss out on treats from home. I could have shot a cannon through the place at 5:30 on a Friday night making me wonder how it breaks even. The prices, while not subsidized, were no higher than those in the public grocery stores. Membership does indeed have its privileges!


11. Driving tips - I now know the chaos I have witnessed each morning has a logic. Every corner is treated a bit like a roundabout but in this case, everyone yields to the vehicle on the right. This bit of knowledge should make my walks to and from work considerably less scary for me and the drivers!